I hope the Christian Preachers who laugh at New Age Crystal users don’t use computers because the CPU and the memory in a modern computer are just  very complex matrices of tiny crystals.   If a small clump of tiny man-made crystals can run computers, what can much larger and much more complex natural crystals do?

A “pitted fruit” is a fruit with a pit in it, but “pitted olives” means olives with the pits removed. So what does it mean if you ask “Is that pitted?”?

First we were told to stop using paper bags to save the forest, so we switched to plastic.  Now were being told to stop using environmentally harmful plastic and were switching to reusable canvas bags, so what will the next replacement be?  Steel buckets?

Christians who consider everything in the Bible to be literal truth with little allowance for allegory remind me of a strange cult in India that I read about several years ago.  This small cult considers a dead holy man there prophet and try to follow his teachings literally.  The holy man wrote that if men wanted to achieve spiritual enlightenment they would “have to become more like women”.  So the men in this cult, interpreting everything literally, castrate themselves with a ceremonial knife and dress in the clothes of a women prostitute.

If all the emails I’ve received informing me that I’ve won a lottery were real, I’d now own The Bahamas.

The only thing I ever successfully glue together with super/crazy glue is my fingers.

I’ve found the surest way to make grass grow is to:
 1) Give up trying and dig up the grass
 2) Plant flowers in place of the grass
 3) Fertilize with flower fertilizer
In two weeks the spot will be full of thick, green grass!


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